


Komaeda nargito unvores a vampire

by Neko_Nekoma



Category: Dangan Ronpa, Super Dangan Ronpa 2, ジョジョの奇妙な冒険 | JoJo no Kimyou na Bouken | JoJo's Bizarre Adventure
Genre: Crack, Other, can't believe this is the first thing I post, enjoy i guess, sorry @ god for this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-23
Updated: 2017-01-23
Packaged: 2018-09-19 09:36:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9433199
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Neko_Nekoma/pseuds/Neko_Nekoma
Summary: im sorry





	

komaeda felt a little uneasy this morning. He had gone to bed and done his daily nighttime routine of wetting down his swirling potato locks in preparation for his exactly 8 hour sleep. But still he couldn't shake the feeling that something was off. When he had woken up, he had felt a little nauseous, but passed it off as just a little price to pay for existing solely on energy from the sun. "Oh well" he thought, and went out to enjoy some breakfast. when he got to the school cafeteria, he was immediately removed from the building due to him being unable to be within 20 meters of children legally. understandably, he was quite upset considering he did nothing to deserve this, though he did his best to stay quiet. after this happening he went back home to browse his favorite ice chewing forum for the rest of the day. but when he got home, he suddenly had the urge to throw up right there and then, so he did. hhhuuuuuuurrrrrgghhh he went, as he threw up as much as he could. To his surprise, on his floor was a strange blond man with disgusting fashion sense. he had holes in the crotchular area of his pants, and komaeda thought that was the most disgusting thing he'd ever seen. the blond man stood up, and took a second to look over komaeda before punching him in the gut and launching him into a nearby water tower 59 miles away. "kakyoin'd again good pal" komaeda whispered as he slipped farther away from the land of the living. the blond man was known as dio, as evidenced by the singular best buy nametag on his left bara tiddy. Dio went outside as he clapped his hands together conviently changing the time to night. He was free.

Months later

Dio had his fun of murdering many townsfolk, but he started to get a little lonely. to cope with this he killed more townsfolk until the entire city was just a horde of zombies and other weird creatures. "oops I did it again" dio hummed as tears streaked down his pale vampire face. he looked up to see a girl(??? he wasn't sure since it was an anime) who looked on in worried fascination. this just made dio cry even harder, which made him angry. just as he was about to go kill this anime girl/boy the anime held up a paper. "What the fuck is this?" asked dio, not wanting to admit that he could not read. "It's adoption papers, im your new father now" said the anime, who is now revealed to be a boy who just looks like a girl. Dio was very confused at this point and just forgot that he was going to try and kill this anime man. "Who are you? who in face are you?!?" screeched dio, as he was horrified of the thought that such a tiny anime could be his father. "my nam is chihiro fujisaki I've always wanted to be a father I've watched you for all these months and you've seemed lonely so I adopted you.. i-if that's OK with you" the anime boy said in a timid tone. Dio was scared of this boy so he ran to the other end of the city as fast as he could. "no! don't go that way, it's HIS turf!!!" chihiro warned, but it was too late, dio was already out of sight.

Running down the alleyways with tears in his manly eyes, he stopped to catch his breath as even though he's a vampire, he still does it because he thinks it makes him look cool. looking around him he notices a box. Lifting it, he sees the corpse of a very overweight tabby cat. Strangely enough, the cat is quite orange... "Hmmm" doi thinks, wondering if he should stay here any longer as he does not feel safe here anymore. unfortunately his question soon answers itself as a shadowed figure falls down from the heavens in front of him, causing dust to rise all around him. as the dust clears, dio sees who it is and prays for his life that he might survive this. the man steps out from the shadows, clad in a sky blue polo shirt and dark khaki jeans. "The names Jon. Jon Arbuckle." He says, lifting a finger towards Dio. "long time no see doctor" Jon says as he begins rapidly spinning in place before shooting off at lighting fast speeds straight through dios entire body sending him hurtling towards the sun, incinerating him. 

 

"No one will set foot on my holy ground..." mutters Jon as he takes a puff of his cigarette and disappears into the shadows once more.


End file.
